In my quest to find nervous system peace and resilience, I have leaned into what some might call Type B personality traits. Resting when I am tired, leaving the dishes until later so I can enjoy play time with my kids, not zeroing my never ending spam filled inbox, having a healthy relationship with food (I love a good french fry!), all as ways to desensitize myself from the anxiety that perfectionism used to hold over me. And I would say, this leaning in has helped me tremendously to calm my nervous system and live life with more gratitude. Once I stopped always striving for 100% perfection in ALL of my tasks and goals, life became a lot more enjoyable.
One of the biggest reasons I see people struggle to reach their goals or even initiate action is because they are facing tasks with an “all of nothing approach”, meaning they set the bar so high that it becomes too difficult to reach. And when feelings of failure and often nervous system dysregulation (like “freeze” mode) set in it can cause massive insecurity and shame in a never ending cycle. If this sounds familiar, why not try my 50% rule, aiming for 50% of that original goal—or even 10%. Aim for what feels manageable to you right now. Lowering the bar makes starting easier, and once you follow through, that dopamine boost can fuel your momentum to keep going to achieve that original goal.
Here are some examples of how to use the 50% rule in real life:
Instead of…
- Trying to drink 100oz of water a day, try adding just one or two more glasses to your daily routine – Try one first thing in the morning and one in the evening
- Aiming for 1g of protein per pound of body weight, aim for getting a serving of protein at each meal and half a serving in your snacks
- Throwing out all your synthetic athletic wear (which contains microplastics) in exchange for natural fabrics, do half: wear a cotton top and your sweat-wicking leggings for workouts
- Jumping into a workout everyday and strengthening every muscle group, aim for 2-3 days of strength workouts. Daily movement is key, not going crazy at the gym every day.
- Trying to read every headline, pick one topic important to you to stay informed. What are some actions you can take to support this topic? Support a local initiative like tree planting or learn about local decisions coming up that affect your city’s landscape. It’s important now more than ever to stay informed.
- Feeling helpless to world suffering or that you don’t have the funds or leverage to make a difference, a small gesture can go a long way. Donate just $5 a month to a favorite charity or directly to a family in need (many families have Gofundmes), or maybe offer a ride to your elderly neighbor. Remember self work doesn’t always start with the self.